Mistakes

My mom is an incredible pianist.  She has an absolute gift to play.  Myself being a "music mom", there is no doubt in my mind that she worked and worked and worked to develop her gift.  Before becoming a mom, she was amazing. Her crowning glory was mastering Chopin's Scherzo #3 in C# minor.  I think I've known the name of that piece all my life.  I knew it was "her piece".  She has an old record with a recording on it.  Only a couple of times did she get it out and play it.  It was a treat to hear the whole thing played as impressively as my mom played.  Even with the scratchy noises that accompany an old record.  It was made VERY clear to us that we were to never, ever touch that record.  It was all she had left of that piece.  Because she couldn't play it anymore.

Here is her blog entry about "her piece".

I googled "Chopin Scherzo in C Sharp minor". I chose Rubenstein's performance. I love it that he said that this Scherzo takes more out of him than any other. I wish the camera could have captured more of his hands than his face, because that is where the action is. This piece is 27 pages long. I know because as a young 17 year old girl, I mastered this Scherzo. I want to share it with you, just to show my shining glory. It took a lot out of me, too. Every time I performed it, I was covered in the "glow" of hard work. This was the pinacle of my piano performance. I played it for my senior recital, and I auditioned (successfully) for a full ride scholarship at University of Montana. It makes tears well up in my eyes every time I hear it. It is so beautiful, so full of emotion, so satisfying, both spiritually and physically. Please enjoy it.

So, what happened?  She gave it up.  In short, to accept the gospel of Jesus Christ.  It was a stiff price to pay really.  But when the Spirit beckons that we follow, we follow.  At least we should.  And my mother did.  Even though it cost her her "shining glory".  

As I was listening to this song over and over again I remembered this part of my childhood.  I remembered how it felt to dance to my mom's music.  I remembered being mesmerized as I watched her hands pound out those octaves with her fingers spread as wide as they'd go and moving faster than I could believe. And I remembered what I've always called the "waterfall part".  I loved the beauty of that part, spoken through music to the depths of my soul.  I have always loved this song,  Probably because it had my mother's name written all over it.  

As I listened last night, I started thinking about how my mom would practice this piece, trying to "get it back".  I listened to it again and again, trying to remember where she struggled.  Where did she make the mistakes that frustrated her?  I couldn't remember.  In my mind, I remember her playing it exactly like the recording.  I do not remember one mistake.  

Then I had a thought about my gifts and talents.  Those things that Heavenly Father has blessed me with that I mess up with so often.  And I realized that he doesn't remember my mistakes either.  The mistakes were paid for by my Savior long, long ago.  It is only my opportunity to accept that gift too.  And to believe Christ when he says he will "remember them no more."